Category Archives: Dining with Outlaws

Dining with Out-Laws may sometimes be unwelcomed in the near future…

Dining with Out-Laws

I’m finally turning this blog into what it was originally intended for. A blog about dining out. Not with your typical family or friends- but with a special group and a mix of the unwelcomed. The critics, the foes- the ruiners for some. For others- their words are captioned for decades long after restaurants receive their initial four stars with reviews immortalized, lamented, framed- then plastered all over the world wide web. It’s much easier to do the latter than the former. And no, I will never ever apologize for my reviews. I won’t take your money either. If you want to treat me to a free meal to write a review, invite me over to your house and we can talk over fluff while you make me dinner. But not in your restaurant. Although I welcome the offer for free meals via insta gift cards. I’m a bit of an Indian giver. A cheapie, and love re-gifting gift cards. So bring it on!
Michael Bao's last restaurant in New York
I was invited to visit Bao at 26 Greenwich Avenue a few months ago…I wanted to write about this place while it was still open- but felt bad, and would’ve been cursed if I’ld exposed the dump while Michael Bao was still here. Then Hurricane Sandy came along- and shut it down for good. Maybe it was intended to be that way. Who wants to have their last hoorah and leave the land of opportunity with their tails between their legs? The food was usually good, as always- the chef seemed to deliver. But the lack of decor- or shall I say: the recycled decor left over from the previous joint, along with French signage outdoors, floor cleaning products staring at our table kinda rubbed me the wrong way.
Green custard
This dessert was pretty spectacular. The green custard above rubbed me the right way for some reason. The consistency of the chewy fresh ginko, married with the caramel sauce added a nice touch. It wasn’t too heavy nor sweet. It was just right. We didn’t care so much for the lettuce wraps with fried chicken- there was nearly not enough lettuce and the service wasn’t that great.
Cleaning supplies at Michael Bao restaurant
The most entertaining part of this meal- was perhaps the stripper look a like flashing her red brassiere under the sheer white blouse with fire red painted lips sashaying her way up and down the cramped space- that was indeed the highlight of the night. Now that’s all I remember from our meal together. Those two girls seemed to know the chef quite well- well enough to help themselves straight out of the rice cooker, practically licking the sauce off his lips in the open view kitchen, with the cleaning supplies staring at both our table and the kitchen staff. I hope he did it to get a rise out of us, and wasn’t being delusional about reality. But if I were in his shoes- I may have done the same. It’s hard to imagine spending a wonderful evening joined by some of the best art dealers from Beijing with designer friends and models at the former Bao joint- only two years earlier. A somber farewell to see a chef brought down like this. I might have seen the chef tremble for a second when Gael Greene yelled at him right before we left: “Who do these girls think they are- walking right into your kitchen and helping themselves to rice- do they work here?”…(and no they didn’t work there). Seriously- who were those girls?
Our VIP table
Whoever they were- at least I’ll never see them again, unless Michael Bao moves back to NY from Vietnam and invites all of us for another opening in the distant future. Well, the show must move on, and Spring will soon be near, along will rise new restaurants, with new menus, new chefs, followed by more reviews. Take good care Chef Michael Bao. New York will miss your serial restaurant openings/closings.
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Filed under Dining with Outlaws, Hot on the Blog, January 2013, Uncategorized

How to Gear Up for the Holidays

Let the festivities begin and Happy Holidays to you! If you’re not feeling festive yet- may I entice you in gearing up for the upcoming month of December? You don’t have to be religious to celebrate Christmas, after all it’s based on a pagan Nordic tradition from the folklore elves to the festive drinks.

Nothing better than celebrating the darkest days of the year with some lights, fairy dust, and gift giving and I can’t think of a better reason to throw another big festive food shindig…can you? I did pretty good this year and got a Canadian Fraser Fir the day after Thanksgiving. Nothing beats a black Friday Christmas tree deal, over six feet tall for under thirty bucks.

I decided to turn myself into the anti-Scrooge this year. Normally I’ld cringe and hiss before family members manage to get me into the holiday mood- occurring sometime towards Christmas Day (the day before to be exact). I just always believed religion and obsessive spending/ indulging in food, drink, and buying excessive unnecessary stuff was just unnecessary and therefore a bit sinful.

But there’s nothing wrong with celebrating the darkest days with lots of light, elves, festive food and drink to warm your soul. Since that’s a strictly unreligious practice- I’m glad to announce I’ve been converted, yay! To gear up for the holidays I’ve managed to prepare: 

1. Christmas tree decorated by the kids. All I had to do was drive them there, let the kids pick their tree and pay (cash only) the man who tied the tree to my car. Don’t forget to tip the person who carries the tree to your car. They work under extreme conditions standing outdoors all day long, often times till midnight- encountering festive little brats with their parents pick out a tree several hundred times a day yet always manage to cheer a smile for you when you’re there buying your pick of the forest.
2. I prepared 15 gallons liters of kimchi for my annual kimchi giveaway. This practice wasn’t inspired merely for the holidays, it just so happens to be cabbage season and kimchi making practices normally occur at this time of the year. So why not get some brownie points for sharing with my beloved friends and family? I tried it last year and got a bunch of hoorays and they’ve been waiting all year to get some more…so here it is!
3. The first kimchi takers of 2012. The Insatiable-Critic Gael Greene was the first person I handed a jar to (not pictured since I promised not to publish the photo- can I publish it later Gael? How about if I drew a nice hat into the photo?)
4. I have to give some kudos to the Red Farm Chef Joe Ng pictured above, who managed to make some amazing little sculptures out of Dim Sum dough. We’re planning on taking some Dim Sum classes hopefully very soon. Kimchi for Dim Sum lessons, not a bad barter eh?
5. I decided to go for it and build the candy covered edible Christmas tree this year for the kids (shhhh- they don’t know about it yet)….
6. For inspiration, I dug up this old (very bad hair day photo) of a peacock I sculpted using edible foodstuffs. The armature was made of rabbit carcass and a roasted turkey breast before I laid a vinegar based dough over it and fire torched the thing, then molding it to look like this. It originally sat on top of aspic neatly decorated with flower petal designs before somebody decided to move my piece in the walk in and I discovered an ugly pile of liquid crapped on my perfectly ruined aspic the following day. Thanks anonymous person who ruined my aspic two years ago…I don’t know who you are- but you should be getting one of these bottles coming in your direction very soon. Karma’s a Bitch. See bottle below.

7. Last but not least. If you get one of these bottles gifted to you this holiday season, you know you’ve been a little naughty this year. P.S. They’re sold at big chain liquor stores and Whole Foods Market nationwide.

That’s about it for today! I hope ya’ll are ready for Christmas! The one thing I didn’t get a chance to get is a furry red sweater with reindeer and snowflakes. Still shopping for one of those cooky sweaters. Where to buy a Cooky Christmas Sweater Guide coming very soon! Happy December Everyone!!

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Filed under Dining with Outlaws, Holidays, Hot on the Blog